Today, Josiah has spent 5 whole interesting months in this world! There have been so many ups and downs and at times, as the mother, I have felt there were more downs than ups. Then he smiles, and each smile erases 100 negative memories. When I look back to the NICU days it seems like eternity ago that I first saw that sweet face. We have overcome so many obstacles, and we have kept the faith throughout them all. People question me all the time, "how do you do it? I could never be that strong." My only answer has to be GOD! He knew the plans He had for Josiah and my family and I am certain that He has equipped me with this strength. As a mother, you don't have a choice as to your strength, when your child is suffering. You buck up and you smile, you press forward and you hold his hand, you take each moment for what it is and you remain positive. If we would have known of these upcoming struggles when we were trying to conceive, I am not positive we would have pressed forward with conception. Perhaps, this is why we are not meant to know our future. Now that he is here, everything makes sense. So much is clearer and we appreciate so much more!
Back in October, Josiah was without oxygen for approximately 3-4 minutes. The fear of brain damage has been deep within our thoughts. Recently I have noticed that Strong Man himself is hitting those milestones and exceeding the expectancy on some of them! Who would have thought that reaching for a toy and pulling it to ones mouth would bring tears to a spectators eyes? Each small act of growth that Josiah does is another brick lifted off this weighted mother. He is progressing well and growing at a wonderful weight, with all considered. Now weighing in at 11lbs 13oz I feel like I'm handling a giant. Quite the difference from the 4lbs I once rocked in a NICU chair, 5 long months ago.
His eating is still not up to par, he is taking about 2-3 ounces by mouth every 5 hours. (the rest goes in his tube) We have tried 4 different bottles and we have finally found one that works best! I can't believe the money we have spent in bottles LOL The NUK bottle seems to be the magic one. We will keep working with him and helping him along.
Josiah will be discharged of his home oxygen now, it is not necessary and little by little the equipment will dwindle down. Its always a bittersweet feeling to get rid of these medical pieces. Part of me rests easy in the comfort of having it bedside, but I am glad that he has proved himself of not needing it. I have to let go of these things and just continue to pray and know that no matter how much I love my son, God loves him more. From the mouth of his big sister "Jesus got the whole world in hims hands, he got the little bitty babies in hims hands he got Josiah in hims hands"
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