Thursday is "Surgery Day"

As I sit here with mixed emotions trying to put this all into words, my hands are shaking.  We have known since October about this surgery and at times, been so ready for it.  Now the choice has been made, the OR is booked and suddenly it seems all so sudden.  I think it started to sink in when I found out that my baby boy would be in a cold, bright operating room for approx. 4 hours.  We have been through countless tests, procedures, studies and surgeries with our two babies...but nothing quite this long and no where near as invasive. The tiny hairs stand up on my body as I try not to cry, just thinking of the "what if's".

I find comfort in Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
and Psalm 139:16 "your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."  I have no idea what Thursday, or the days to follow, will bring.  I pray for comfort and to feel his presence, constantly!!!  I pray for patience in the physical and emotional healing phases and of most I pray that my God will continue to bless me each morning with the loving faces of my children.

His surgery will be Thursday morning at MCV.  They will call tomorrow afternoon to let us know the exact time.  He will be Dr. Lanning's first patient of the day and he is thinking it should be approx. 8:30am.  We will need to be there about 6am for paperwork, vitals and all that good "pre-op" stuff.  Then from the time they get inside his tiny body, begin the operation, to suturing him up, it will take 2.5 hours. However there is much time spent prepping him, anesthesia, IV started and critical recovery.  The total time will be about 4 hours.  4 hours of the uncertainty, 4 hours of pacing, 4 hours of being away from our child, 4 hours in the heart of a mother is close to forever!

I have learned in this tough season of life that it is okay to feel heartache.  There is a reason for this, God's reason.  For, not only does he know the plans he has for Josiah, he first knew the plans he had for me!  No one suffers in vain.

Ever read a verse and start to get "chills" just knowing that God lead you there...this was what I came across when I wasn't expecting it;
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."
2 Corinthians 1:3-4